I decided... oooooooohhhhhh... I should write... I really miss writing in my journal. And besides that I found out I don't have to do ten lessons. Only two. Yay! Which cuts back considerably... but still alot of work because it's not just intermediate level, but beginner and advanced. Because we will be passing the lessons around from teacher to teacher. So yay... fun fun!

Last night was such a blessing!!!! God is so good! Pastor went down to see Matt's (a guy from our church) Mum. Our church has been praying for her to get saved for ten years! And Matt and Kat have been praying 15 years. Well, she asked the Lord into her heart on Sunday! What a blessing! God is so amazing!!!!

A verse that I have had written out and on my desk is this:

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

It's so hard, sometimes. It's hard to be "perfect" as I am expected to be. I struggle. I have no words. I can't put ino words what I'm feeling at this moment. I'm not depressed... though very close to it. And I'm never depressed. Never ever ever... I guess it's more like meloncholy. I'm sick of school I could throw my computer out the window. I've had to make up so much school work because I started a month late, because of waiting for the new program. And since I was working three days a week I had so much o make up. I'm finally finished Bible and History... But English... my favorite subject is driving me insane. Cause I feel as though I'm doing nothing but school. But I do enjoy school. But not unless I can take a break. Ok... maybe I'm over reacting... yeah I'm over reacting... It's just one of those days... where I'm frustrated. Very frustrated. So I vent... to no one... only my journal...  

lol... I'm really crazy... it's just one of those times... where... I'm more frustrateed with myself then anything else really. I NEED to MATURE! I mean I have... but I still have so far to go... so much to learn... And what really gets me is when people tell me I need to mature... ok I already know that and I'm working hard to change...

I know what i need.... I need a good laugh... I need to... get away... and laugh... sounds fun... girl day! May 12th will be nice... I think the girls are coming with me to Bangor and we shall go shopping (ok.. so not my favorite thing) but at least the girls will be there. But maybe we can go to the movie Theater.

I can't wait until I get my license... it's killing me to wait... I did send in for it. Since I want to get it to make sure I pass before I leave for China. I dunno the date yet though. I'm really nervous about it though... cause I haven't had to much practice parallel (sp) parking. Everything else I know i can do fine... but oh my goodness... I only parallel parked once with an instructor... and like none since then... Dad's going to help me practice... but I hate practicing with Dad... I get yelled at. But know that I can back up pretty good I shouldn't have to much trouble. LOL LOL... when I first started driving I was horrid at backing up. I just could not do it. And dad would yell at me so badly! lol But I can back up pretty much anywhere now.

Oh... on tuesday... one of my students and his family sent me flowers and a balloon that says "Thanks a Bunch" because it is teacher appreciation week! It was so sweet. Makes me feel special. I love the class! i really enjoy teaching and working with them. I have a blast! Lol... and I've never felt more appreciated in all my life! The kids adore me.. and I get so many hugs...and parents come up to me and say "our kids love you to peices!" It's like... aawwwww I love them to! lol

"As long as there are millions destitute of the Word of God and knowledge of Jesus Christ, it will be impossible for me to devote time and energy to those who have both." -- J. L. Ewen

How selfish I can be at times!What do I have to make me meloncholy? I must snap out of it. Yes... I have to mature and yes things go wrong. But someone else is going through something far worse then I am. And I am truly blessed! And besides that... God is changing me working on me molding me... and bringing closer and closer to maturity. I can't let the thoughts of others get me down. because the only one that counts is my Lord.

Oh goodness... how selfish am I...

"You're attitude is the key to you're success as a christian."

I have the choice to be meloncholy or joyful. It's still the morning and I plan to have a good day. No more meloncholyness!

Have I not been called by God to do His work. Where is there room for being meloncholy or having a pity party?

Do I need to be again reminded of the verses... Romans 1:16, Romans 10:14-15, Matthew 16:15, Colossians 3:17, Romans 12:5-10, James 1:5, James 4:7, Philippians 3:7-12, and Acts

Where is my heart when I act like this? Certainly not tuned towards God.

"Lord forgive me for having a heart that isn't tuned to your will"

I must get back to work... but think of this...